The Monster Munches

Sat in his car, his jaw
Gyrates like a camel mouth;
Lips, wobble around their orbit
Some distant star, pulling;
Meteors of corn-snack crumbs
Whizz through space.
His lap, the fetid remains of
Big Bang Meal Deals
Mildewed monthly remnants
Revealing the past
Like mouldy litter-strewn tree rings;
He surveyed his solar system –
A passive aggressive deity
Passing judgement
On all mortal life.

The dog, outside,
Sniffed the car door hopefully –
Opportunistic, no doubt
For pork pie jelly bits,
Or sausage roll scraps,
Or a dreamy cheese triangle,
Discarded; oblivious
To the Omnipotent God-head
Bedecked in drapes of finest Hi-Viz,
Appraising us haughtily,
Through finger-smeared
Window glass.

He looked at me, sneering
In snack-fuelled superiority
Silver-foil mouth spewing pink puffs
Of extruded plasti-food;
His dusty orifice mindlessly fed
Calorie-rich emptiness
Unblinkingly
From bratwurst fingers.

If only we were worthy –
Sharing his majesty;
Eating at his high table;
Destined for those Hallowed Halls
Where only those who die
At the hands of deep-fried
Comestibles
Live an infernal life.

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